| The Preteen Child Children develop intellectually, physically and socially, step by step, in a progressive manner. Skills are learned gradually as a child moves through the stages of development. In order to provide an age appropriate program with activities that enhance the numerous stages of growth and development in children, the adult should have a good understanding of where the child is coming from, where the child is at currently, and where he or she is heading in the near future, developmentally. The following information will provide a basic overview of patterns of development in the growing child. 10 years old Patterns of Development - a more peaceful age than nine - obeys more easily and naturally - more friendly with family and school - doesn't take things too seriously - matter-of-fact, straightforward - a loyal friend and values friendship - enjoys collecting things - more responsible and show individual personality - make personal decisions - throw a ball further - run at a faster speed - is more aware of the wider world - can organize activities for themselves - school work more enjoyable - likes outdoors - tends to exhibit modesty Cognitive Development is eager to learn and master new skills is proud of doing things well is concerned about personal capabilities has internalized standards of right and wrong to some degree Language Development Physical Development physical growth and development varies enormously among this age group is energetic and spirited is usually awkward strives to be physically fit is fascinated with how the body works may be curious about drugs, alcohol, and tobacco continues to revel in bathroom humor Social and Emotional Development fluctuates between dependent child and independent preteen becomes increasingly self-conscious seeks approval for being "good" from significant people becomes preoccupied with the opposite sex relates to peer group intensely and abides by group decisions succumbs to peer pressure more readily does not want to be "different" continues to participate in small groups of same sex confides constantly in a best friend can be fickle Stages of Awareness Regarding Differences Typical Problems Goals Ideas for Caregivers 11 years Paterns of Development - is at the threshold of adolescence - is having more an impact of her own life and is making decisions on a daily basis on what he or she is going to do - likes to be independent but at the same time likes to feel part of a group such as a sporting team - able to think more abstractly and logically - is starting to experience changes in his/her body - needs adult support to effectively cope with these changes, both physical and mental Cognitive Development has an increasing attention and a concentration span strives to succeed has strong opinions begins to understand the motives behind the behavior of another Language Development Physical Development may experience a pubescent growth spurt if female (usually a year or two later for males) may tire easily and appear lazy (growth spurt drains energy) may look out of proportion is preoccupied with and self-conscious about appearance may have an appetite that fluctuates sharply enjoys observing or participating in competitive sports is keenly interested in learning about body changes may continue to be curious about drugs, alcohol, and tobacco Social & Emotional Development may be experiencing sudden dramatic emotional changes associated with puberty vacillates between maturity one moment, immaturity the next tends to conceal emotional feelings is hard on self and ultra sensitive to criticism wants parental assistance, but may resist when offered is critical of parents is concerned with prestige and popularity likes to belong to a group and be like others becomes quite faddish spends about twice as much time on weekends with friends as with parents may drift from a previous best friend (due to different levels of maturity) is acutely aware of the opposite sex Stages of Awareness Regarding Differences Typical Problems Goals Ideas for Caregivers 12 years Patterns of Development - is cooperative, enthusiastic, friendly - smoother relations with parents - if a girl, is very interested in boys and parties - If a boy, is obsessed with food and likes horseplay - is greatly influences by group behavior and approval either negative or positive Raising Responsible Teens Peer pressure move over. There's a more powerful influence in the lives of teens and it's found at home. While peers undoubtedly influence each other, social science research demonstrates time and time again that parents actually matter most. However, having parents per se is not the determining factor. Rather it is the degree to which mom, dad, or guardian actually monitors the teen's behaviour that is a decisive factor in reducing the risk of pregnancy as well as drug, alcohol, and cigarette use in their teen. Higher degrees of "parental monitoring" is measured by the parent's knowledge and ability to respond to these questions: 1. Do you know who your teen's friends are? 2. If your teen is going to be late, does s/he know that you expect him/her to call? 3. Do you know where your teen is and what s/he is doing after school? 4. Does your teen tell you who s/he will be with before they go out? 5. Do you know where your teen is when he or she goes out at night? 6. Do you know how your teen spends his or her money? 7. Do you know the parents of your teen's friends? 8. Do you talk with your teen about the plans s/he has with his/her friends? Some parents back off from monitoring their teen thinking they are thwarting their teen's independence. In other situations, the teen may view such questions by their parents as intrusive and may balk, feeling their parents are demanding and interfering. There are 3 key things to remember for successful parental monitoring: 1. Parental monitoring works best with parents who already have a reasonable relationship with their teen. Family members should show mutual respect and there should already be family rules in place that govern behaviour. 2. Parents must approach the issue of parental monitoring from a point of view of concern, guidance and respect. Many of the questions are a matter of courtesy and cut both ways. It is reasonable to know when to expect family members and to know how to contact each other in case of emergency. It is equally important for children to know where parents are and how children can make contact. This is simply mutually respectful behavior for planning and safety. 3. Start when your kids are young and be a good role model. If you want to know where your kids are, always let them know where you are too. Explain and demonstrate from an early age that family members stay in touch and show concern for each other. Children and teens develop self-esteem as a result of their parent's involvement in their lives. Parental monitoring may seem like a pain to some teens, but hey, you only concern yourself with things that are important. So, parental monitoring isn't about surveillance, it's about caring. That's a good message to any teen. |
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| Child Development |